


nine.

by sstensland



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [9]
Category: Crash Pad (2017), Logan Lucky (2017)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tumblr Prompts, break ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 16:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16836436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstensland/pseuds/sstensland
Summary: clyde logan/stensland +  “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”





	nine.

Clyde stares at him with wide brown eyes that give away every bit of the disappointment dwelling inside of him. Stensland opens his mouth to say something, but the words choke him, grab him by the throat and suffocate him.

He wants to reach out. Wants to runs his fingers through those dark locks, trail his fingers down those biceps. He wants to curl up into those strong arms, rest his head on his chest and feel the warmth and comfort take over him. He wants so, so many things, but he can’t let himself have any of it.

Instead, his fingers pick at one another as he forces his gaze away from Clyde’s. He’s never… he’s never felt anything like this before, and despite all the claims and desires of wanting a relationship, wanting love and compassion, wanting to settle down with that one special person, he never imagined it feeling like this.

“Clyde,” he starts, voice weak, nearly cracking as he tries to hold back tears. He takes a shaky breath. Everything happened so fast, so sudden, that he doesn’t know how to make heads or tails of it. “Clyde, I… I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Clyde’s grip tightens at the box in his hand—the small black box holding… no, Stensland can’t let himself think of that. “I’ve given everything up for you and _you’re sorry_?”

The tears start to break, trailing down his cheeks. “I—no, I mean, yes. I’m sorry. But I… I’m scared.”

Clyde scoffs. “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance, Stens.” He shakes his head. Looks directly at him. “And if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyways?”

Stensland hates the venom in Clyde’s voice. Hates the thought of the months wasted, of every second that they’ve spent curled up in tangled sheets. Hates that he knows Clyde is right.

He forces himself to look at Clyde. He’s never been good at relationships; always messing something up, never being quite the right fit for someone. And then… and then he had met Clyde and all of that changed. Everything he had known about himself had changed. And now, here Clyde was, standing before him, telling Stensland that he wants to be with him. _Forever_.

He doesn’t deserve that. Never has. Never deserved the soft, gentle caress of Clyde’s skin against his. Never deserved the months of slow, lazy kisses in the morning. Never deserved the love or admiration he’d see in Clyde’s eyes when he looked at him.

He’s never deserved any of it.

Stensland closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I—I can’t, Clyde.” All he can hear is the echo of his heart thundering in his chest. “I’m sorry.”

And he turns away.

He turns away from the happiness he could have. From the lifetime of kisses and lazy Sunday mornings. He knows better than to think about them; Clyde would get sick of him. Realize he’s made a mistake. They always do.

He doesn’t look back. Doesn’t risk it. He can’t. If he looks back, there will be a chance that he stays, and Clyde would deserve so much better than that. Clyde has always deserved so much more than him. He still doesn’t understand why he had even given him a chance.

A hand falls on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks and turning him around. Clyde stares at him, searching him. “I can’t let you walk away, Stens.”

“Please, Clyde.” 

“No, I won’t let you.”

“Clyde, please. I’m not… I’m not ready for all of this. I’m not… you don’t really wanna marry me.”

“Stensland, you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the reason I get up every morning and come home every night. I know this is all quick, but I’ve never felt like this. I can’t explain it but I don’t want to lose this feeling. I don’t want to lose you.”

He swallows hard on a dry throat, still unable to bring his eyes to Clyde. The hand on his shoulder feels like a weight, holding him down, burning his skin. The feeling moves from his shoulder when he doesn’t say anything; fingers cupping under his chin to force Stensland to look at him.

Clyde takes a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m rushing things. You don’t have to say yes to this. We can wait; I can wait. We can take all of this as slow as you’d like. Just… just don’t leave me, please.”

Stensland stares at him, into those brown eyes pleading with him. “Okay.”

It’s a second before a smile forms on Clyde’s slip, spreading across his face. A flutter passes through Stensland’s chest when he feels Clyde’s lips press against his.

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on [twitter.](http://twitter.com/sstenslands)


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